Two Roads Diverged

Happy Halloween!!

yeah, yeah, I know it's early, but hey, I won't have access this weekend. I'm working all weekend. (joy!) and so I'll be butt ass tired come Monday... don't forget to set your clocks back kiddies! *yeah, now my damn car stereo clock will be right!* til Monday..... TOOT TOOT

Templates

I'm currently looking at some new templates. The lovely Joan over at Seven inches of Sense has kindly answered my plea for help! *bows down... I'm not worthy!* :) I'm just not sure which direction I want to go....hmmmm.....It's halloween this weekend. I need something easy that I can dress up as for work. anyone have any ideas? *smile* oh, and on a side note, November 2nd is only 4 days away....are you registered? TOOT TOOT

Just another day...

here in Maryland. My freakin water heater is going up. Luckily my mom will let me put it on her home depot card or else I'd be literally up a creek without a paddle. (especially if the damn thing breaks and spews water all over my basement). So, I have to wait til tomorrow to get it fixed. *damn it all to hell!* This sucks. My central A/C also went up this summer. Thankfully it was closer to the end of summer, so it wasn't too bad. I guess my brother will be replacing the A/C, but I won't hold my breath. *smile* I really want to move, but I can't find a place that I like that'll let me bring my dog. And something that I can afford by myself. *gggrrr* I only think like that cuz if things don't work out with my current beau....I want to be able to handle things on my own. *Sigh* Not saying that anything will happen, but I like to be prepared for surprises. *Smile* anything new? not really. I joined the "gym" here at work. So I'll be working out after I get off work. I need to bust my ass the next couple of weeks. definitely work on my upper body strength. and strenghten my legs. cardio is a definite. I'm going to try to get to 20 minutes on the stair stepper. I think if I can do that... I'll be fine. soooo...anyone else got anything happening??? TOOT TOOT

Daddy Issues...

I swiped the title from Seven Inches of Sense (click on title to go to her blog). I can identify with her somewhat in regards to how she feels about her father. My real father is dead. The only father I've ever known is my stepdad...but I don't call him that. He is my daddy. And I love him. I call my real father the "sperm donor". Let's take a trip back in time shall we? My real dad (RD) was a bastard and a drug addict. But back then it was glue and PCP. Or are they the same? anywho...I have two older brothers..I guess you could say I was a surprise, afterthought, and sometimes my brothers would say mistake *grin*. One is six years older than me and the other is about 10. My RD was in and out of jail. He treated my brothers like shite. He flicked lite matches at my middle bro while he was watching tv. He broke into my grandmother's house and tore up my mom's clothes, put a bowling ball through the tv and sliced up her mattress. He would tell my mom that he was going to take me away from her. She would look out the bedroom window and he would be standing in the street looking up at the window. Freaky shite. I suppose he was high for most of this. I was only two at the time when he died. So therefore I don't remember any of the following. I've learned this information through members of my family. I guess my RD thought that if he couldn't have my mom, no one would. He forced his way into our house and sliced my mother's neck (while I was in her arms). My uncle and a neighbor came in and tried to get him out of the house. My uncle was stabbed numerous times, requiring over 200 stitches. I guess the neighbor went and got my aunt. My aunt owns a gun. She came over and my RD was about to stab my uncle in the chest. Well, my aunt shot him. It was declared a justifiable homicide. My mom and uncle both survived. *thank god!* And I do not remember anything about that day, although I do have a tendency to rock when I'm upset. Which is how my godmother found me when she was finally able to get me out of the house. This is reason why, if my RD would have survived, I would want nothing to do with him. I wouldn't even speak to him. Yeah, I'm sure there were good points, otherwise my mom wouldn't have loved him and married him. But I'll be damned if I can see any of his good points. When my RD's father died (technically my grandfather) I went to the funeral. As we were standing by the gravesite, listening to the service. I looked down. I just happened to be standing on my RD's grave. In my 28 years on this earth, that is only the second time that I've been to his grave. And I won't be going back. Know what the freaky part is? My mom's name was on the tombstone too. I guess they were supposed to be buried together. I asked my mom if she was going to be buried there and she said no. I'm glad. I wouldn't have wanted to visit her next to my RD. I pray that that will be a long time off yet. *smile* I think I would have to see a psychiatrist if anything happened to my mom. She has taught me what it is to not take anything from any man. And how to do for yourself. She raised us kids by herself. I salute the single moms out there. It's hard. I love my mom. So, Joan, if you read this...I can kinda understand the whole, not wanting to be around him. It doesn't make you a bad person. You can't choose your family, but you can choose not to associate with them. well...I've spilled enough information today...

also....anyone who can help me update my blog template or know where to get some cool free ones, please let me know!!! thanks.... TOOT TOOT

I know, I know

Yeah, it's a been a little while since I posted. I'm freakin busy here at work. I'm trying to get everything done today! *geesh* anywhooss...I REALLY need to get in shape for the physical part of the fire department test. *holy hannah!* i've got at least 8 weeks to get in shape. *Sigh* wish me luck.... i'm going to need it. back to the work that is piled on my desk!!! someone help! TOOT TOOT

Raise? what raise?

Yeah, that's what I said. I got a raise a work. congrats you say? bite me. The raise was so small I didn't even notice it on my freakin check. WTF? I don't understand. I do a lot of work and here lately have been very busy. *hence, the lack of posting* But my raise SO does not reflect that. Do I ask why my raise was so small or suck it up? I don't know. any thoughts?

I have orientation tonight to the CPAT. *the physical part of the fire department test*. We'll see how that goes. I'm going to try to get a mentor. *smile* I hope I can.

anywho...I was thinking of changing my layout/template. anyone have any good ideas where to get some good free templates? and/or can help me set it up? Help? anyone????

work is calling....bastard...my number was unlisted..
TOOT TOOT

Three day weekend!!!

I know it's been a couple days since I posted, but I've actually been busy here at work. Go figure. It's not like anyone missed me. *smile* I know I get disappointed when my daily reads don't post, but I doubt I'm anyone's daily read. *smile* anywho... I have off on Monday and I'm heading down the shore this weekend. They are having a car show. And for anyone in this neck of the woods that is into custom cars, Ocean City is the place to be this weekend. I'm SO freakin excited it's not even funny. I haven't been down the shore in over a month, which is unusual for me cuz my mom has a place down there. so I can go down pretty much anytime I want. *smile* And guess what? the weather is supposed to be great. *HUGE GRIN* God, I love the shore. I want to move down there something fierce. There is a job opening at one of the hospitals down there, but they really don't pay that much. I would much rather prefer getting a job as a medic or police officer down there. I've been looking, so we'll see what happens. I'm hungry! it's lunchtime...so,on that note, I'm hopping off here. I might post again later, if I have the time. if not, have a good weekend kiddies! I know i will! *Smile* TOOT TOOT

IT'S A BOY!

Bryce Jacob....8lbs 11oz. 19 inches. He is SO adorable. He has a reddish tint to his hair too! My middle nephew is absolutely in love with him. Although it just might be the novelty of having a new "toy". He wants to hold him , feed him, etc. I don't mind that, but when he looks at me and says, very seriously "Make sure you hold his head!" it's annoying. especially since he's only 7!!! I told him that I changed HIS diapers and held him, so I know what i'm doing. geez. anywho.. i've got some work to do and I'm tired as all get out. I wish I could take a nap. *smile* I'll try to post again later!! TOOT TOOT